i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
