ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
