I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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