Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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