i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
