you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
