Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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