Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
