I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
