laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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