This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
