everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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