he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
