On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize