he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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