p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
