you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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