okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize