i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
