i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just had sex on a roof
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
