the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
