Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize