i just wanna soil my oats bro
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
