please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
