too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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