he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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