I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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