So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
