I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
