You made me cry and you don't even care
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
