i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
