my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
