walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize