He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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