What a fucking waste of an outfit
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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