We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I have post one night stand depression
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
