dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
