he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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