Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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