One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
