you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
