i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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