i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
