Plan B is the new Plan A
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
