so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
