Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
