I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I will be naked everywhere
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I would ride that face into the sunset
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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