apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
