I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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