at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
