i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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