Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Never joke about your clitoris.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
