Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
