why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
