But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
