Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
