all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
