im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize