And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
