Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
