i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Text me some of your sweat
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize