That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
