Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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