What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
