i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
