I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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